Not a one-way street — Simon Sinek outlines his philosophy in forging mutually-rewarding mentoring relationships based on a foundation of reciprocity.
In many of our other blog articles, we discuss the ways in which mentoring is reciprocal and why we all need to stop thinking of mentoring as a ‘one-way’ transaction.
As Simon points out – we hope if you’re asking the question, “will you be my mentor?” that we all expect the answer, “only if you will be mine.”
When both mentor and mentee feel like they are getting something valuable out of the relationship, it creates a sense of mutual respect, trust, and understanding. And, when both parties feel invested in making the relationship work, it leads to better communication and problem-solving. It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved!
Why Reciprocity Improves Mentor-Mentee Relationships
A mentor-mentee relationship is a special connection between two people, where the mentor is a knowledgeable, experienced individual who provides guidance to the mentee. This important dynamic of learning and instructing contributes immensely to a person’s growth and development.
But, for the relationship to truly reach its potential, it must involve the element of reciprocity.
Reciprocity, meaning the exchange of actions, feelings, and gifts, is known to have a positive impact on any relationship, and a mentor-mentee relationship is no different. It’s an invaluable contributor to the strength of any mentor-mentee bond where both parties are open to addressing each other’s needs, offering and accepting advice, and engaging in supportive behaviours.
Ultimately, re-framing your mentoring relationship to be one of reciprocity leads to a strengthened atmosphere of trust, respect, and understanding between the two individuals. In turn, this facilitates an environment of unity and progressiveness that is incredibly beneficial to both individuals.
Exploring the Positive Impact of Reciprocity on Mentor-Mentee Relationships
The positive impact of reciprocity on a mentor-mentee relationship goes beyond just mutual understanding and trust. Reciprocity allows for a powerful exchange of knowledge and experiences to take place. The mentor, as the more experienced individual, can effectively share his insight and expertise with the mentee. At the same time, the mentee can provide the mentor with fresh perspectives and different insights that can inform and redirect the mentor’s perspective on certain matters. This free-flowing exchange of information enriches both the mentor’s and the mentee’s knowledge immensely.
It can also help to generate unique solutions and approaches to various challenges.
When reciprocity is found within a mentor-mentee relationship, it can also help to foster a sense of mutual respect and appreciation. The mentor can gain a greater appreciation for the mentee’s unique skills and talents, while the mentee can gain a greater appreciation for the mentor’s experience and wisdom. This mutual respect can help to strengthen the bond between the two individuals, and can lead to a more productive and successful relationship.
It can help to create a sense of community – when both parties are willing to share their experiences and knowledge, a sense of belonging and camaraderie is generated. This can help to foster a more positive and supportive environment, which can be beneficial for both the mentor and mentee.
Establishing a Reciprocal Relationship that Benefits Both Mentor and Mentee
The establishment of a reciprocal dynamic in a mentor-mentee relationship is motivated by mutual benefit. The act of giving and receiving awarded in reciprocity not only improves trust between both parties but also encourages proactive participation. This motivates both parties to actively challenge each other’s thought process by exploring different perspectives that may provide better solutions to various challenges. Reciprocity also builds accountability between both individuals, as both parties are expected to work on their end of the relationship in order for their efforts in mentorship and learning to be successful.
Relationships are 100:100, not 50:50.
To truly bear the fruits of our labour, they require 100% commitment from both parties.
Mentoring is no different.
The mentor-mentee relationship is a two-way street. Mentors should be open to learning from their mentee just as much as the mentee is – as mentees can provide a fresh perspective on the mentor’s experiences and play a role in holding up a mirror.
Mentors should be willing to listen to the mentee’s ideas and provide constructive feedback – and mentees should also be willing to listen to the mentor’s advice and take it into consideration. To build a mutually beneficial mentorship, both parties should be open to learning from each other and be willing to compromise in order to reach a mutually beneficial outcome.
Reciprocal vs Reverse Mentoring
The reciprocity found in mentor-mentee relationships differs from that found in reverse mentoring. In reverse mentoring, the mentor is a less experienced individual who receives guidance from the mentee.
While both offer an invaluable exchange of knowledge and experiences between two individuals, reverse mentoring often describes a different kind of relationship which has less of a focus on the complementary approach found in reciprocal mentor-mentee relationships. Reciprocal mentorships are more beneficial in developing advanced knowledge and understanding.
Reciprocity is without a doubt an important factor of any successful mentor-mentee relationship. It allows two individuals involved to actively challenge each other in order to achieve a better understanding of almost any subject matter at hand. Consequently, it helps establish a connection between both parties that goes beyond just learning, thereby cultivating trust, understanding, and mutual respect.
7 tips to keep in mind if you’re new to mentoring:
- Embrace the idea of reciprocity: Give and receive in return. It will foster mutual respect, trust, and understanding between mentor and mentee.
- Expect and offer mutual accountability: Asking “will you be my mentor?” should be met with the expectation of “only if you will be mine”
- Be open and transparent: Create a safe space for open communication, trust, and understanding.
- Make sure the mentoring relationship is mutually beneficial: Ensure that both mentor and mentee are getting something valuable out of the relationship.
- Encourage open communication: When mentees feel that they can share their thoughts and experiences openly, they are more likely to be engaged and invested in the relationship.
- Make problem-solving and growth a priority in the relationship.
- Remember that mentoring is a two-way process and not a one-way transaction.
Being Open and Transparent in Your Mentoring Relationship
Being open and transparent in a mentoring relationship is essential to its success. It allows for open communication, trust, and understanding. When both mentor and mentee are open and honest with each other, a safe space is created where new ideas, perspectives, and feedback can be shared freely. This ultimately leads to more effective problem-solving, growth, and development.
When mentees feel that they can share their thoughts and experiences openly, they are more likely to be engaged and invested in the relationship. It goes without saying, being open in a mentoring relationship is key to creating a successful and mutually beneficial experience for both parties.
You can find a wealth of advice for new mentors and mentees in our 10-part series, 10 Key Qualities and Habits of a Highly Effective Mentor.
