A strange phenomenon that has become a norm in dating apps is gradually seeping into mentoring programs all over the world…ghosting.
Ghosting occurs when one party seems to disappear—they don’t respond to emails, texts, or other means of communication—essentially evaporating like a ghost.
But why would some mentors or mentees ‘ghost’ their mentoring partner? After all, we’re all adults here who’ve consented to this mentoring relationship (cough cough the same can be said about dating).
The truth is, the reasons could be varied, from an actual emergency, like a life-threatening illness or accident, to the more common: Simple laziness or a decision that the individual is just no longer interested in mentoring, a decision they’ve failed to share with their mentoring partner.
Because of this, it’s important to always be providing feedback to your mentor or mentee—and not only feedback on milestones and tasks that we’re used to giving in these types of partnerships, but healthy and constructive feedback on the mentoring relationship itself.
How to Provide Feedback on Your Mentoring Relationship
Tell the Truth
The best way to provide feedback is directly to your mentoring partner. Whether you think they want to hear it or not, tell them if the partnership isn’t working for you or if you simply don’t think it’s a good time—this is better than ghosting and leaving your partner in the lurch!
Take a Break
If you want to continue with the partnership but simply need to take a break, that’s okay too! At Mentorloop, we use My Match Status so mentors and mentees can have the flexibility to switch between being open for match requests (available) or taking a break (unavailable).
This ensures that those actively looking for a mentoring match can continue to search and connect with those that are currently keen. It also allows individuals to prevent any new mentoring requests from coming through in order to focus on the relationships they have that are already in full swing.
It’s Just a Phase
Maybe you and your mentoring partner have just found yourself in a rut. Not to worry! This happens more often than you might think. In order to get out of it, we recommend that you:
- Rediscover what brought you to mentoring in the first place: What drove you to sign up in the first place? What do you want to get out of this relationship? Refer back to your Mentoring Agreement as an easy reminder
- Focus on the process: Set SMART goals and work towards them, enjoying the journey and knowing that how you go about things is better than any outcome.
- Don’t worry about being the best: Make your number one goal to be the best at getting better. Prioritize ongoing growth and development.
- Embrace failure to increase gains: Get outside of your comfort zone in order to see and appreciate new perspectives.
- Be present: Being present helps up build strong relationships. Put away your phone, be deliberate during meetings, and set agendas!
Want more actionable advice on how to get out of that mentoring rut? Check out our Mentoring Session Guides to help you focus on what to tackle next and provide some extra structure to your meetings and catch-ups.
Mentoring with Mentorloop
At Mentorloop, we use our MQS, or Mentorloop Quality Score, to measure how a relationship is going. This works by mentors and mentees periodically providing feedback on the relationship, which is then calculated to produce a benchmarked MQS. Benchmarked against similar industry mentoring programs, this score assists program coordinators to course-correct with mentors and mentees where necessary and monitor mentoring effectiveness–making the most of your mentoring time.
Are you ready to start building a culture of mentoring at your organisation? Reach out to see how Mentorloop can help today.
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